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The Wisdom of Abigail
“Now the name of the man was
Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good
understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and
evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.”
I Samuel 25:3
Introduction:
1. The
Bible strictly and plainly teaches wives to submit to their husbands (Gen 3:16;
I Cor 11:9; Eph 5:22-24).
2. But
it limits that submission short of “amazement,” which is mental stupefication,
bewilderment, perplexity, and consternation to the extent that a woman is
confused about obeying God or her husband (I Pet 3:1-6).
3. As
with all authority, when there is a conflict, we ought to obey God rather than
men (Acts 4:19; 5:29).
4. Abigail
provides a splendid example and illustration of this principle – she disobeys
her husband to do right.
5. Every
girl and woman should learn how to live a holy life and not let fear of father
or husband dismay her.
6. Every
girl and woman should learn how to approach an angry father or husband to
obtain his full approval.
7. Abigail
did both, perfectly! She disobeyed her husband, changed David’s enflamed mind,
and won his heart!
8. Here
is one of the most precious dramas in one chapter found in the Bible. Hollywood
can eat their heart out.
9. Here
is one of the most eloquent speeches ever delivered, as she turns a passionate
man from his intentions.
10. Every girl
and woman should aspire to have the combination of wisdom and understanding and
looks as she.
11. There is
more wisdom in the Word of God than all the books and manuals of man combined
and squared!
12. There is a
love story and marital advice in this drama, which excels any romance novel or
marital counselor.
The SETTING (1-3)
25:1
- David went to the wilderness in south Judah after Samuel’s funeral, for prudent mistrust of Saul.
25:2
- Maon and Carmel are places in south Judah near Paran (Joshua 15:55; I Sam 23:24; I Sam 26:1).
- There was a very rich man, with 3000 sheep, 1000 goats, and a substantial estate, in Maon.
- It was the time of shearing sheep, which is the annual event bringing in the revenue for the year.
- It was a time of great celebration, for it was the one great payday for the year (II Sam 13:23-28)!
25:3
- The rich man’s name was Nabal, which means fool; and he deserved the name for his character.
- He was churlish, which is “intentionally boorish or rude in behavior; hard, harsh, ‘brutal’, surly, ungracious. It includes “sordid, niggardly, stingy, grudging.” See Isaiah 32:5,7 about a churl.
- He was an evil man, as his actions and the testimony of his wife show; he was a son of Belial.
- Belial is a word personifying evil and often used for the devil; he was like a son of the devil.
- He was properly of Judah, having descended from the noble house of Caleb. What a disgrace!
- His wife was Abigail, who was a woman of good understanding – wise, who was also beautiful.
- Not all marriages are made in heaven! Abigail was sacrificed, likely for money, to an evil pig.
- She obeyed him, as God requires: the worse the husband, the greater the blessing (I Pet 2:18-20)!
The REQUEST (4-9)
25:4
- David, hiding in the wilderness to maintain his security, is informed that Nabal is shearing sheep.
- Nabal should be feeling prosperous and have much food in the field for celebrating with his men.
25:5
- David sent messengers to greet Nabal in his own name, which was well known (I Samuel 18:30).
- David was the hero who killed Goliath; he was not an unknown vagabond looking for a handout.
25:6
- They were to greet Nabal and make reference to his comfortable and secure life in prosperity.
- David
sent his blessings of peace on him personally, on his family, and to all that
Nabal owned.
25:7
- David openly admits his knowledge of the sheep shearing; he deals in a straightforward manner.
He then informs
and/or reminds Nabal of the honest care he had shown his shepherds and sheep.
25:8
- Having been totally honest, David knows the men of Nabal will be able to confirm his integrity.
- He
reminds Nabal he is having his most lucrative day of the year, and he asks for
some supplies.
- He
calls his men the servants of Nabal for their past service, and he reverences
him as his father.
25:9
- The ten young men David sent did exactly as he requested, then they waited for Nabal’s answer.
The INSULT (10-13)
25:10
- Nabal, perversely, odiously, and evilly insulted the name of David and his father with ridicule.
- He
called David a servant, though anointed king; and he charged him with rebellion
against Saul.
- These
are “fighting words,” as natural men and the world think. And David for once
does also.
25:11
- Nabal ridiculed taking food from his workers and giving it to bums he had no knowledge of.
25:12
-The young men brought Nabal’s insulting response to David, a man of war and anointed king.
25:13
- David responded as royalty should and would in such cases, and takes his tough men with him.
- These
were some of the hardest and toughest men in Israel, whom he controlled (I Sam
22:1-2).
- Consider
the wonderful character of David in controlling and leading such a group of
men.
- Hopefully
we do not need to hear the Hebrew word for “stuff” to assist our understanding!
The
CHOICE (14-20)
25:14
- One of Nabal’s servants told Abigail how rudely Nabal had treated the messengers from David.
25:15
- The young man told Abigail the good and honest treatment they had received from David’s men.
25:16
- The young man further described the security and protection they felt and received from the men.
25:17
- He then exhorted Abigail to do something, for he was sure there would be revenge for the insult.
- He
witnessed the content and spirit of Nabal’s insults; he was sure David would
seek revenge.
- He
confessed he did not go to Nabal to confirm David, because of Nabal’s obnoxious
character.
- A
son of Belial is a man so wicked he is called a son of the devil, or Belial, as
evil personified.
25:18
- Abigail packs a nice lunch for a large group of men and has it put on asses to carry it to David.
- She
reacts quickly. She is of “good understanding” (25:3); she didn’t have to think
long about it.
- In
dealing with an angry person, speed is of the essence (Ps 119:60; Prov 6:1-6;
Matt 5:23-26).
- Strife
can easily grow with time, as bitterness tends to grow and spread (Heb 12:15;
II Tim 2:17).
- Gifts
do work to soften the anger of an adversary for most offences (Pr 17:8; 18:16;
19:6; 21:14).
- Practical
and utilitarian gifts are not good for love and romance! Get creative past
parched corn!
25:19
- She told her servants to take off with the present for David, as she intended to follow behind.
- It
was customary, and very wise, to send a gift in advance to turn away anger (Pr
18:16; 21:14).
- Jacob
used this method to great success in preparing the heart of Esau for him (Gen
32:13-21).
- Note
and remember the last sentence of this verse, for here is our illustration of I
Peter 3:6.
- Nabal
was wrong, and his error was going to cost his life and those of others. She
was right!
- She
did not tell her husband, for she was going against his thoughts, actions, and
authority.
- Had
she told him, he would have stopped her. She saved her family, Nabal, and David
from evil.
25:20
- By the providence of God, she was able to meet David before he could recognize and avoid her.
- In
your dealings with strained relationships, including spouses, trust God for the
circumstances.
The
PETITION (21-31)
25:21
- David, true to his passionate nature, was very angry for the rudeness he received for kindness.
- Such rash
anger was not characteristic of the sweet psalmist of Israel, but there were
exigencies.
- Though
anointed king of Israel, he was not so yet; therefore, his angry plot is
excessive and sin.
- If he had
carried out his intentions, he would have been guilty of murder and
self-revenge.
- In order to
understand the man she was confronting, please grasp the full anger of David
(25:13).
- David was a
man of war, a stranger to Abigail, and furious, with justifiable wrath against
Nabal.
25:22
- The narrator, God the Holy Spirit, wants us to grasp the full import of David’s raging passion.
- He swears
in the name of the LORD against Nabal, which shows the seriousness of his rage.
- A sinful
oath is no more binding on a man than the sin; repentance includes the sin and
the oath.
- His oath says, “If I leave a single man of this place alive, let God spare the lives of my enemies.”
- His oath says, “If I leave a single man of this place alive, let God spare the lives of my enemies.”
- He intends
in great rage to make Nabal and his house an example to those who would insult
him.
- Those that
piss against the wall are men, a figure of speech for that day, as women cannot
do it.
25:23
- When Abigail sees David, she enters into the most forceful and eloquent appeal ever recorded!
- When Abigail sees David, she enters into the most forceful and eloquent appeal ever recorded!
- She quickly
gets down physically all the way to the ground in bowing reverence to honor
David.
- Remember,
this woman was beautiful, very intelligent, and very rich. Yet she knew to get
down!
- Much
marital strife and bitterness could be saved, if wives would get down off their
high horse!
- There was no regard for dignity or gracefulness to make an impression. There was total humility!
- There was no regard for dignity or gracefulness to make an impression. There was total humility!
25:24
- She took full responsibility for the transgression and accepted any consequences he might give.
- Calling
herself a handmaid (servant) twice, she begs that the condemned might speak to
him.
- She begins
addressing him as lord, though he is neither her king nor her husband, but a
soldier.
- When
dealing with a strained relationship, call the matter what it is – sin. Don’t
whitewash it.
- Use gentle
words; beg, plead, pray, beseech; he is not your partner or brother to rebuke
boldly.
- Ask for
permission to speak rather than presuming on it, which shows humility and
reverence.
25:25
- Again she calls him lord, while begging him to ignore her husband, whom she relates to Belial!
- She took
her husband’s name and expounded it as meaning folly, which she ascribed to
him!
- When
dealing with an offended party, ridicule your error and show your contempt of
yourself.
- She
professed that things would have been different, if she had encountered the
messengers.
25:26
- She swore in the name of the LORD that it was by His providence that she had met him first.
- She
detailed two sins the LORD kept him from – murder (Ex 20:13) and revenge (Lev
19:18).
- She
continued to call him lord and raised him in a subordinate position to God in
her oath.
- She used
God’s providence to turn his wrath from insignificant Nabal to all his real
enemies.
25:27
- At this point in her petition, Abigail identified the much food as her personal gift to David, which he could give to the men with him in lieu of their original request to Nabal.
25:27
- At this point in her petition, Abigail identified the much food as her personal gift to David, which he could give to the men with him in lieu of their original request to Nabal.
- Observe that she continued to
address him reverently with “my lord” over and over again.
25:28
- Abigail took up her guilt again and begged for David to forgive his lowly handmaid her trespass!
- In settling
personal conflicts, after confessing your faults, ask for forgiveness to shift
the burden.
- She
reminded him of the certain blessing of God upon him and his house to minimize
the insult.
- She praised
him nobly for fighting the Lord’s battles, and she praised him for his virtuous
soul!
25:29
- She then turned his attention to his real enemy – Saul – who had tried to take his life, not Nabal!
- With
glorious eloquence, she described David as bound tightly by love from the LORD
his God!
- And she condemned
David’s enemies as being hurled away by the same LORD, as out of a sling.
25:30
- She reminded David that God would certainly bless him, as He had promised, and Israel knew.
- Again,
calling David her lord, she reminded him that God would make him the ruler over
Israel.
25:31
- Abigail, bringing a conclusion, beseeched her lord to consider the preservation of his innocence.
- She had
already praised the LORD for keeping David from sinning, now she considered his
soul.
- Unnecessary
murder and personal revenge would have grieved and offended David’s pure heart.
- Get the
final words! “When the LORD makes my lord a glorious king, please remember me.”
- There is no
way any man but the most wicked would stay his course and not fall in love with
her.
The
RESPONSE (32-35)
25:32
- David praised the LORD for sending such a wise, helpful, (and beautiful) messenger to stop him!
- Stop,
reader! Remember and consider this passionate man was in a rage just minutes
before this!
25:33
- David praised her and her advice for keeping him from sinning in murder and personal revenge.
- A
man as great as David, and very angry to boot, quickly accepted both Abigail
and her advice.
- These
are the guaranteed results of approaching offended authority with the wisdom of
Abigail.
25:34
- He praised Abigail that her quick response had saved her and her household from certain harm.
- Again,
for the value of the lesson, we are reminded how angry David was when met by
Abigail.
25:35
- David took the present she had brought, which he needed, and gave it to the men with him.
- He
told Abigail she could go to her house in peace and safety, for he would not do
her any harm.
- He
told Abigail she had convinced him of his foolish rage, and he had accepted her
as well.
- Wise
women approaching their husbands in the same reverent spirit will also be
accepted!
The JUDGMENT (36-38)
25:36
- When Abigail returned home, she found Nabal seriously drunk and carousing like a rich king.
- He
could not spare any food for God’s anointed man, but he could eat and drink
like a glutton!
- She
still did not tell him anything of her “trip to town,” for she would wait until
he was sober.
25:37
- In the morning, when he was sober, Abigail told him all she had done the day before with David.
- His
heart died within him – though living, he was dead – he lost all hope of peace
and prosperity.
- He
became inconsolable in fear, grief, envy, and worry. He was senseless to life
around him.
- How
close had he come to a quick death? His few sheepshearers could not match
David’s men!
- How
could he be sure that David would not yet come? For men do not reverse passion
so easily!
- How
could he be sure that David would not come for Abigail? Now David knew his best
asset!
- How could he be
at peace knowing his wife had shown her superiority before his whole house!
- How could he
have peace knowing that upon his demise his wife and estate would be David’s!
25:38
- Ten days later the LORD did intervene supernaturally and kill Nabal, to leave Abigail a widow!
- Wisdom
leaves vengeance to the LORD. He will repay! He does not take as long as some
think.
The
PROPOSAL (39-40)
25:39
- David praised the LORD at the report, for he understood that God had taken vengeance Himself!
- David rejoiced at the judgment of his enemy, knowing it was divine judgment and for plain sin.
- Not
wasting any time after a fantastic first date, David corresponded with Abigail
for marriage!
25:40
- David sent his servants back to Carmel to tell Abigail that he would marry her and comfort her.
- While
times were different than our liberated generation, Abigail had already
encouraged him.
The
ACCEPTANCE (41-42)
25:41
- Consider the continued humility and meekness of this wonderful woman as she gladly accepted!
- Speaking
to merely David’s servants, Abigail offered to settle for washing their feet as
a servant.
- David
did not even come personally, but she treated his servants as she would have
treated him.
- Abigail
is an intelligent, beautiful, rich widow! But she shows not one degree of
haughtiness!
- This
woman showed more humility and reverence than women today can even imagine!
25:42
- She did not waste any time. David had called. She took her five servants and went to meet him!
- She
didn’t seek extensive courting or dating; she became his wife; praise the
wisdom of Abigail!
- She
had a rich estate with a large household; he was hiding in the wilderness; she
went anyway!
The
CONCLUSION (43-44)
25:43
- David added to his stable of wives, Ahinoam from Jezreel. He was now a polygamous man.
25:44
- David’s first wife, Michael, was given by her father, Saul, to another man, in David’s absence.
Some Lesson
1. Wives should obey their husbands, for this is the ordinance of God; but it is limited short of sin (I Peter 3:6).
2. Disobeying a husband is a serious matter, but it should be done when God’s clear commandments are at stake.
3. A man is blessed to have a wife who can remind of his duties to God with the humble reverence of Abigail.
4. Confronting an angry, bitter, or sinning man is a difficult and perplexing matter, but Abigail did it perfectly.
5. Restoring and maximizing a marriage should be a regular goal of godly wives, and Abigail shows it perfectly.
6. If a wife were to apply the humility, reverence, and wisdom of Abigail, she would have a perfect marriage.
7. The vile sins of pride, selfishness, and stubbornness guarantee the perpetual loss and pain of most women.
8. No matter what your marital situation, put your trust in the Lord and do things His way for great blessing.
9. The methods of Abigail appear extreme, bizarre, and dangerous in our perverse generation, but God endorses.
10. For a woman to have a totally adoring and devoted husband, she needs to win his heart as Abigail shows.
11. The spirit and actions of Abigail should pervade the thoughts, words, and conduct of every wife every day.
12. When she fails or senses the marriage slipping, a wife should determine where she erred and start over.
13. Abigail’s conduct won the day and saved her household, but the spirit is God’s plan for wives every day.
Source: http://www.letgodbetrue.com